Ode to Salsa Lizano

Salsa Lizano,

I try to say

your name

in a way that

is fitting of

your essence.

Salsa Lizano

At first, I let

you

drip onto

my plate;

now I know

to let

you flow freely.

Your green,

silky green:

to me you sparkle

like diamonds

not yet mined.

Of beans and

rice

I have grown tired

but not of

you--

no, never of you--

such a small

discreet

bottle for such

robust tangy

flavor,

spices and peppers

that come together

as a magnificent

work of art,

a taste

not too spicy

nor too mild.

How did

you

come to be,

Salsa Lizano?

You are the

heart of

daily conversation,

the secret thread

of our jokes

and dreams.

I want

to make you

pocket-sized

so I never

will be

without.

Fitting on all

foods,

you know

no bounds.

You are universal:

common good,

salvation in a

time when we

can find nothing

else in common

with one another.

You are epic,

Salsa Lizano.

love lust and cannibus.

shalom.

This morning we had another delicious breakfast. The lovely kitchen staff made us omelets! Que rico. We also had Ms. Nash bread with jam, delicious frutas, gallo pinto, and coffee. Oh my goodness it was so wonderful. I am going to kidnap Esmerelda and make her my slave in Athens so that I can have these wonderful meals every morning.

Fabricio was our guest speaker in Ecology today. He probably had a lot of very interesting things to say, but I was too distracted by his amazing English to hear any of it. I want to be fluent in another language. So badly. He can actually convey his personality when speaking in English. He probably dreams in English too. I want that.

For lunch today we had salad, rice, beans, veggies, and some pork thing (that I didn't eat). I am just waiting for the day when I OD on rice, beans, and lizano at this point. Honestly.

After lunch I spent the afternoon trying to figure out my schedule for next semester slash my major slash graduate school slash my life. The bulletin and the key are not my friends. I basically spent three hours staring at the computer screen working myself into a fat ball of nerves. I think I have my schedule figured out, though, so I guess that's good. As for the rest of it--major, grad school, life--I give up. Romance Languages has me on a fast track to nowhere and I accept that. At least I can think about my how my life has no direction in three different languages. That's enough for me.

Dinner cheered me up a bit. We were served pig skin. I kid you not. Skin of pig. Fried. It smelled like bacon and was fatty like bacon, but unlike bacon, this variety of fried pig still had HAIR on it. I was repulsed, and yet so very intrigued at the same time. I sat and sifted through the bowl for about 10 minutes, looking at every greasy piece of swine individually--appreciating each one's full mane. I only stopped when Cayman made me.

Do not for a second think that I let this vile excuse for food come anywhere near my mouth. No, no. I was cheered up only because I found it humorous that pig skin made it to the dinner table. But I honestly should not have been surprised after being served things like flan with green beans. Ew.

So I ate beans (no rice!) and veggies. There was also yuca, but yuca sucks. I'm over it.

Esmerelda brought us chocolate cake with chocolate fudge icing for dessert. She is trying to get on my good side I think. Admirable attempt, Esmerelda, but my heart belongs to Geovanny. I shall not waver.

Geovanny came by this afternoon at the height of my registration craze. He had a brace on his wrist. He said he fell off his motorcycle yesterday--he claims he wasn't drunk, but he is a mentiroso. Because he was going slow, he didn't get hurt too badly at all. So no big deal, right? WRONG! Geovanny is taking off work to tend to his injury. I told him that he's a big fat baby. He laughed, pinched my cheek, did the kiss thing, and said hasta luego mi amor. Weak sauce, Geovanny!!

And now it is 9:00. I should probably get started on that Spanish presentation I am giving tomorrow morning.. Ave Maria!

peace love and skin of pig

hey lovers

This morning Abs and I were sitting on the porch before breakfast and the most beautiful rainbow came and kept us company. I can't remember the last time I saw a rainbow, aside from all of the Costa Rica study abroad brochures, posters, handouts, etc. It's their thing. I would have been pretty pissed if I hadn't seen one before I left.

Breakfast was incredible. Finally the homecoming meal we have been waiting for! Coffee, frutas, gallo pinto, eggs (you know I love my eggs), and delicious French toast with syrup. Baby. I wish we had breakfast for every meal. That would definitely raise the odds of us getting panqueques sometime soon..

After breakfast we had our second class with Scott. He's still really intense. In all honestly, he kind of freaks me out. He's super intimidating. I am just not a science girl--never have been. Hopefully this will not be too much of a problem. Question mark?

For lunch we had salad, rice, beans, broccoli and cauliflower, and this weird bowl of potatoes and ground beef in tomato sauce. I opted not to partake in the ground beef potato goo, and loaded up on the rice, beans, lizano, and veggies. I was hungry two hours later.

They had this delicious warm pan out today--like a biscuit with jelly in the middle. I snagged the last one. And when I say snag I mean I full-on sprinted into the comedor when Cayman told me there was only one left, and took that baby right from under Susan and Jennifer's noses. Ha! Apparently there was also banana bread but I missed it. Karma I suppose.

Tess and I started back up with English lessons with Susan and Jennifer today. We went over family vocabulary and how to describe people. It was painfully boring. I'm afraid that this is my fate--the painfully boring English instructor of Susan and Jennifer. I just don't understand how the heck I am supposed to make up interesting and fun lesson plans when I was just thrown into all of this with no instruction whatsoever. It's really frustrating and I have come to completely dread 3:00 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Ugh.

Steak knives had been laid out for dinner-- never a good sign. Today is Geovanny's birthday so he was MIA and instead we were stuck with Sylvia. Sylvia is like the antithesis of Geovanny. She is cold and slow as molasses getting food on the table and never brings out seconds and never comes around to clean up and always seems to bring out the crummier food. Well, with the exception of this morning I suppose. So anyways we were served steak. Very, very well-done hunks of cow. To say that Ecology enjoyed their platter would be quite the understatement. One of the girls had three slabs of meat, and homegirl gnawed on that stuff like it was her job. Oh my gosh she was just going to town. Then Michael asked us to kindly pass down our leftovers, because his tapeworm was still hungry. LLC readily passed along our platter-- all we were really interested in was the onions. I ended up eating rice (no beans!) with Lizano sauce and carrots. So weak. I blame Sylvia.

Except I can't be too mean to her because tonight at dinner I called her Esmerelda. Not to her face, but still. That is not even remotely close to Sylvia. Yikes.

After dinner we went on a night hike with Scott down to this gross cow watering hole because the man loves frogs. I was given one of the jumbo spotlights to hold, but that got old quick cause the frickin thing weighs like 20 pounds. So I handed it off to Tia-ita and mooched of the lights of others for the rest of the hike. We saw a ton of bats and birds, and Lucas's "crickey! crickey!" (fatty cricket) on the way over to our final destination. As soon as we got to the "pond," Scott eyed a fat cane toad and scooped him up with the net he had brought along. Then he grabbed the sucker by its legs and showed us all of its tricks. He made the poor thing pee and croak and all kinds of cool things. But the best trick of all was when he picked the toad's face. There is this fat pore where a cheek should be that when you pop it, all of the toad's poison squirts out. It was so unbelievably awesome and I really wanted to try it but as it turns out I am a real girl when it comes to frogs and toads and the like. I ended up catching a baby frog that still had its tail with the help of Abby's keen eyesight (and about 5 minutes of her trying to get me to actually see the thing) so that was cool. Then Ann bagged this FATTY cane toad and coaxed me into touching it. I was freaking out and squealing like a stupid girl, but I touched it. So go me.

Then Annie-poo started talking in the Crocodile Hunter voice. I tried to chime in, but unfortunately my Crocodile Hunter vocabulary is limited to "Crikey" and "Ay, matey"-- which isn't Crocodile Hunter at all. So then I was a pirate, until I realized that I wasn't much good at that either. Cayman was a cheap hooker, naturally. It was the obvious third to our duo.

As you can see, we take our night hikes very seriously.

peace love and eharmony

hey

Last night we were all hoping for this fabulous homecoming meal. We were immensely disappointed. It was so weak. We had salad, boiled yuca (potato-like vegetable, but not really), beans, rice, and questionable-looking ribs. So I ate beans and rice and a little bit of yuca but felt nauseous afterwards. Ugh what the crap, kitchen staff? They kind of made up for dinner with dessert--banana bread. Mmm.

So surely we were going to have a fabulous homecoming breakfast, then. False. The main course was plantains, which I did not eat because I am trying to atone for the week of feasting in Montefuma. So I was left with fruit and gallo pinto. There was also farmer's cheese floating around, but farmer's cheese isn't like real cheese. It's this incredibly bland, leaking triangle of cheese-like texture. I'm more of an emmenthal or a brie girl. It's just this weird thing I have- I like my cheeses flavored.

We started round two of classes today. We are all taking Ecology this semester, so that's weird-- having all six of us in one class. I feel like I'm not able to get the attention I need in such a large class, but life goes on I suppose. So Ecology professor is Scott. He actually studied abroad in Costa Rica for his undergrad. The man is intense. He talks about a mile a minute and is ready to fit as much material as he possibly can into the limited time we have left. He kinda freaked out yesterday when he realized that he only has two lab days, but no worries- he is making them into four lab sessions and will find time for more during our field trip next week.

We had our field trip orientation yesterday afternoon. I am frightened. Our days are jam-packed with 6 am bird watchings, three-hour hikes during the day, and then night hikes and black light lectures in lieu of sleep. And we are doing all this without access to warm water, electricity, or much of anything for that matter. I am seriously going to die. I can only imagine the facial expression I was offering to poor Fabrisio, our TA for the week, as he went into immense detail about each day. Fabrisio works on campus, but we haven't really had any interaction with him before now. His English is rockin. Apparently he has an American wife, which would explain his effortless uses of "en route," "the idea is to..," etc. I obviously need a Spanish-speaking husband. Or French. Actually, both would be nice.. So yeah 7 days of getting my butt kicked all over northern Costa Rica. Sweet. We leave on Sunday- so I will be training until then. Pray for me.

I started Spanish lessons back up today. Rachel, a resident naturalist, has taken Kathy's place so I am not alone. She's super sweet. I hope she doesn't bail--yesterday she was getting pretty frustrated at not being able to find the words she needed. But I can tell she's a trooper. Lessons themselves went surprisingly well. Turns out all I needed was a good dose of Carla to get my Spanish back on track. We are starting with the subjunctive, though, which blows. And we have an oral presentation on Thursday. Ugh.

My schedule for this half is ridiculous. After breakfast, I have Ecology then Spanish back-to-back, and then I'm done with my day. It's so nice. Today I did my Spanish homework and then went back to the bungalows and curled up and read my book. My life rules.

Lunch was pretty good-- veggies, rice, garbanzo beans, salad--the usual. They had cookies out, but I resisted. A personal first. Go me.

We were really hyped for dinner because we could smell and hear something being fried. It was fried chicken. Good stuff. We also had rice and beans and salad and veggies. Then for dessert sweet Diana brought us ice cream. We had the choice (!!) of chocolate or macadamia. I went for the macadamia. So good.

After dinner the ecology crew had a movie night that we were invited to (gasp!). So Annie-poo, Abby, Tia, and I represented LLC and came and ate all their popcorn. We watched Amor/ Perros, which was so weird and so long. Ann and I dipped out early because we were falling asleep.

So now it's time for bed.

peace love and macadamia ice cream

Hey people.

My Spanish was shot to hell this past week. Montezuma isn't really a Spanish-speaking place. Like even when we tried speaking Spanish to the guy in the convenient store or our waiters or anyone else for that matter, they would respond in English. Even when we continued to speak in Spanish, they continued to speak in English. So we gave up after about two days and embraced our whiteness. I didn't realize what a problem this was until Geovanny came to talk to me in the biblioteca about an hour ago and I couldn't understand a freaking word he was saying without having him slow down and repeat it. It was beyond pathetic. Weak sauce provided today by yours truly.

Okay so when we last spoke I was contemplating calzones. Contemplation was made reality, and oh my gosh were they good. Tess and I split one stuffed with veggies and cheese and all sorts of goodness. These loser gringos at the table next to us made some comment about how the calzones were as big as their thighs. We should have told them what was up, but instead we busied ourselves with our thigh-size calzones and were just loving life.

Also at the restaurant they have a clown. A clown with full-on face paint and a red rubber nose and balloon animals. Beyond creepy, especially considering there were no children at the restaurant. Tia thought he was sexy.

After calzone fest, we went on a quest to find dessert. The supermercado and the convenient store were both closed, so our dreams of a dark chocolate bar were squashed. We went over to our dirt cheap haven only to be vastly disappointed by their lack of dessert options. I got a chocolate banana milkshake that was missing its shake. Sad times.

To lift our spirits, we decided to give Chicos a go. It was reggae night in the land of potheads, so that was interesting.. The entire back half of the bar was populated with sketchballs. Hardcore sketchballs that sketched off behind the building in groups of 3 or 4 frequently. They were FEELIN the music. I was entertained.

Also at Chicos we met one of the gringos that Tia went to the waterfall with. She called him "Country," but we later found out that his real name is "Slade." Seriously. Slade. The guy was a fat skeeze. He is 32 and is head-over-heels in love with himself. He was wearing one of those awful Abercrombie tee shirts that scream IM A TOOL, and his arms were shaved. A highly esteemed alum of LSU (Victoria please do not go to LSU), Slade drawled about his short-lived stint in the NFL in true narcissist fashion. There was also a string of 3 sentences that had the phrase "my exercise" thread through it about 7 times. I really thought I was going to barf. I had had more than enough of Slade after Thursday night, but every time we turned around homeboy was there. Seriously we saw him at least 10 more times before we left Montezuma, and every time he was in an increasingly more ridiculous outfit: flame bandana paired with a giant tooth necklace, under armor hat/ shirt/ wristband (all worn together of course), and my personal favorite: a blue and orange sarong skirt with a fringe. You can't make this stuff up.

Surfing in the morning was entertaining for Cayman and I. We met up with Christian, the instructor, in town at 8 and hiked over to Playa Grande. Playa Grande is the dirtiest beach I have even been to in my life. It was disgusting. I had a hard time finding a place to sit amongst all of the plastic and discarded tires, and ended up with a soaking wet towel from trying to sit within the tide's reach. Cayman and I lasted about an hour watching the rest of the girls' commendable attempts at surfing, then we headed back for a mid-morning pick-me-up. This pick-me-up came in the form of a "Mocha Chiller," a sign that God does indeed exist. Homemade frozen yogurt, a shot of espresso, and hot fudge. Words cannot express the immense satisfaction that is to be gained from this libation of the gods. So I'll stop trying now.

After the surfer girls got back, we sat down at Sano Banano for lunch. Abby and I split the most amazing vegetable quesadillas with guacamole, pico de gallo, and bean dip. We were super obnoxious and kept fawning over them, but we couldn't help it! They were that good. Tess got a veggie burger and Tia got the buddha burrito, but I could tell they had food envy. Rightfully so.

I spent the afternoon by the pool reading and listening to music and loving life. I think we squeezed in some One Tree Hill time as well. Then we all got cute and went out to dinner. Back to Sano Banano. Abs and I went for round two of veggie quesadillas. Tess and Ann split an order of them as well, and Tia got an order for herself. I'm telling you: they were that good. Sano Banano was having another movie night, but on this particular evening they were playing "Don't Mess with the Zohan." We asked to be seated as far away from the screen as possible.

After dinner we returned to our hotel for a OTH fix. Tess and Tia went back to Chicos, but the rest of us just weren't feelin it. Real life can wait. Give me Tree Hill or give me death.

Yesterday morning we decided to try out a new place for breakfast. We went to the bakery at the edge of town, and ordered lots of delicious-sounding things. Too bad the bakery BLOWS. Oh my gosh the server was garbage, a level of garbage only comparable to the food we were served. I ordered eggs with tomatoes and herbs and toast. I received herbs with 3 pieces of tomato with an egg-like texture and stale toast. Buzz kill. They did have resident monkeys, though. White-faced monkeys that had a whole playground set up right next to our table.

They also had the stupid Montezuma birds. When we first got to Montezuma, we thought these creatures were pretty. They are blue and black and white with long tail feathers and little tufts of black feathers on their heads. They are not afraid of humans, and have no problem sitting within a few feet of you. One morning, I was sitting on our porch in a rocking chair eating yogurt and granola just minding my own business and enjoying the ocean, and one of the birds came and perched itself on the porch railing. I paid it no mind, until all of a sudden it attacked. Like flew right at my face trying to get at my food. I screamed and woke everyone up and ran into my room. From that moment on, I have had an immense hatred for these nasty creatures.

In Montezuma, there are a lot of awesome hippie artists, and most all of them have dreds. So cool. I want dreds. We bought a bunch of stuff from them, funding their drug and alcohol needs for the week. Go us.

Most all of our lunches during the week consisted of extra crunchy peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Or Nutella and extra crunchy peanut butter sandwiches. Sheer bliss.

Last night we had hands-down the best dinner of the week. We went to Pizza Connection, which is this teensy little pizzeria with awkward little tables that wasn't open on weekdays. We all squeezed into a booth and ordered chips and guacamole and salsa (slash pizza sauce..), a grande "Margherita 2" and a grande "Vegetariano." Oh my gosh the pizza was incredible. We did work on those two grandes. You don't even know. Then we rolled ourselves back over to the hotel and watched One Tree Hill until the food coma took over and we all passed out.

This morning we woke up and went out for our final meal in Montezuma. We went to Sano Banano and were not disappointed. I got my eggs and toast and was completely satisfied, although I can't say I didn't have a bit of food envy for Cayman's french toast. It was way good. Then we had a mini-photo shoot on the beach before heading back to the hotel to pack our things up. Our taxi came and got us at 9, then ferry left at 11, and then the K/Carlas surprised us at the end of our ferry ride. Love them. The 8 of us piled in the TOURISTA taxi for the rest of the drive back to campus. We did stop for snacks, though. I had a fat bowl of frutas--pina, papaya, kiwi, and watermelon. Deliciousness.

And now we are home. I have finally stopped sweating. New teachers arrived today. We just had dinner with them, but we will have a meet and greet with them at 7. Question mark? Whatever. I'm glad to be back. I hope you didn't miss me too much!

peace love and chadios montefuma